Beware of Dream Killers!
“Keep
away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people
always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can
become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is
important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who
are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives.
Similarly, be that kind of a friend for your friends.” - Mark Twain.
I love this quote! I stumbled across it a
little while ago when I was looking for inspirational quotes, and it
absolutely hit the nail on the head.
Can you remember the last time you were
telling a friend or family member or even your partner about a dream, a
goal you really wanted to achieve? It was probably something you were
quite passionate about and talking about it with someone close to you.
It got you in high spirits because you could already SEE IT. You could
picture yourself opening the door to your new restaurant, salon,
clothing store, etc.
The person you are talking to responds
to what you’ve said, and your energy changes. You are not so excited any
more… the vision you had of opening the door to your brand new
establishment seems to fade and disappear. Your spirit now feels low,
and that disappointed feeling seeps in and your self esteem drops. If
this sounds familiar, know you are not alone. We all have encounters
with Dream Killers.
Dream Killers aren’t
necessarily bad people; neither are they haters. A Dream Killer could be
that good friend/sister/brother/parent who has never really taken a
risk on anything because they are terrified of failure. So naturally
when you share your thoughts of starting your own business that would
obviously involve taking a risk, they are quick to dissuade you with
care. They might say things like ‘that will never work in Nigeria‘, ‘I don’t think you can do it‘, etc.
I personally feel it’s important to seek
advice from the right kind of people. I’ve been in the Nigerian
entertainment industry for just 3 years, and for the first 18 months the
rate at which my dreams were being shut-down was stupendous. I’d have
an amazing idea, talk to a few people about this amazing idea and before
the end of the day, I’d be so depressed because my idea had been
stomped on and mortally crushed. It wasn’t like the people I would talk
to didn’t want me to do well, far from it…they just couldn’t see my
vision.
After a few more months of dream
crushing, I decided that I had had enough. I thought about what I wanted
to achieve career-wise, and researched people in and out of the
industry that I admired. I had role models in and out of Nigeria that I
studied and when I got a chance to meet one or two in Nigeria, I must
have tired them with my never-ending questions, but hey when it comes to
chasing my dreams I’m like a rottweiler!
In my life I have encountered 2 types of Dream Killers – the accidental Dream Killers who care about you, but will unknowingly discourage you from chasing your dreams, and the deliberate Dream Killers who are basically unhappy in their own (most likely) unsuccessful lives, and really don’t want to see you progress.
I’ve learnt that on the journey to
achieving your dreams (and greatness) you need to possess the following
tools (excuse the pun):
1) Prayer – Pray, pray and don’t stop praying.
2) Self belief – This
is not to be confused with cockiness; just that belief that you deserve
to be happy. The belief that you are worthy of success, and that you
deserve to accomplish great things IF you put in the work.
3) Have some amazing passengers
– Surround yourself with the right kind of people. The kind of people
that believe in you and will be honest with you. They will constantly
push you to aim for your best. Do not confuse these people with
‘yes-men’ – in fact BEWARE of people that think every single thing you
do is amazing. (I may have to write about the dangers of yes-men later)
4) Be prepared to work hard
– Nothing in this world worth having comes easy. Don’t expect to
achieve anything worthwhile if you are afraid of hard work. My father
taught me that. I have never thought I deserved anything just because…
If I wanted a new anything I had to work for it; do overtime to earn the
extra money or just wait till I could afford it.
5) Be tenacious – You
will fail at certain things; accept that. However, knowing how to pick
yourself up, figure out where you went wrong, re-group and try again is
an amazing skill to possess. Think of the Richard Bransons and Oprahs,
how many times do you think they failed before getting it right? As the
late Aaliyah famously sang: If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again.
6) Be able to reflect –
Take time out to think about and celebrate what you have achieved in
your life, and likewise think about where you may have gone wrong or
what you could have done better, and make adjustments where necessary.
7) Be happy for the success of others
– Honestly this one isn’t always easy. You can choose to be envious of
other people’s success or you can learn from their success. You can let
their journey inspire you to be more disciplined in your own.
There are probably loads of other steps I
could add to this list, but these are the ones that I’m currently doing
my best to incorporate into my journey. Please feel free to add any
useful ones below, because we’re all here to learn.
Let me end with another amazing quote that inspired me:
‘At first, dreams seem impossible, then improbable, and eventually inevitable’
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